Dear daughter, You're beautiful.

You’re beautiful. 

I see my daughter and all that she has blossomed into in the past 7 years and it fills me with the most intense happiness and pride.  Even in her worst mood, when she is raging mad at something that her brother has inevitably done, she is beautiful.  I could only hope that she continues to be a sweet, confident and intelligent girl as she continues to grow.  She is that girl that will play with anyone and laughs with everyone. 

As much as her cute little self brings me joy, I can’t help but be worried for her.  Heck, I can’t help but be worried for all of us moms that have to navigate what is to come for our daughters.  Cliques, “mean” girls, crushes, make up, bras, periods and body image.  When there is no time sensitive issue to be stressed about, this is my fall back.  How do I protect her but let her experience everything that becoming a woman is all about? 

Well, I don’t know that I have a great answer to this age old question.  I don’t have any sage advice.  What I do know is that girls learn by example.  Now, for my daughter, this means that she has learned that mommy does, in fact, like make up.  Her mommy likes to take some time to herself in the morning to get ready, put on some clean clothes, and throw a little make up on.  I hope that what she draws from this ritual, is not that I am vain, but that this time in the morning gives me a chance to run through my schedule for the day, read the headlines, check weather and wake myself up.  She’s also learned that I road rage often and I expect that she will follow suit.  She’s learned that mommy can’t stand clutter or crumbs.  I’m a fan of phrases like, “work first, play as your reward”, “eat the stuff you don’t like first and save the yummy stuff for last” and “practice makes perfect.”

She knows that mommy loves to work out.   To me, there is nothing more precious than her rolling into my room in the morning, wiping the sleep out of her eyes, fully dressed in workout gear and ready to workout with me. Her pushups have gotten pretty impressive!  She doesn’t know that mommy (and daddy) have lost a considerable amount of weight in the past few years.  She doesn’t look at old pictures and see what we see; an overweight couple.  We talk about being healthy, fit and strong not skinny or thin.

Here’s the thing; my mindset has shifted the past couple of years.  I don’t work out to lose weight or be ‘allowed’ to eat bad or fit into an outfit.  It’s about recognizing that exercise truly makes me a better mom.  I have a clearer mind, a better attitude and more energy. 

So, on this 8^th Mother’s Day that I am spending with my little girl, my wish is that all of us moms remember that those pretty little eyes are watching when we’re fussing about clothes not fitting.  Those darling little ears are listening when we talk about how we’re “so fat” and how we need to “lose so much weight.”  We are, hands down, our girls strongest allies against all that will bombard them. From reality shows to Facebook, they will get so many messages about what look or size is acceptable.  We are the ones that can fill them with the strength to be confident and strong.

 

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you.  You’re beautiful.